Sómi landsins og skjöldur var í Danmörku í dag

Nú varð það loks úr, að Forseti Íslands fékk skjöld þann sem hann hefur beðið eftir að fá síðan hann var sæmdur hinni dönsku Fílaorðu af Margréti Danadrottningu árið 2017. Ýmislegt hefur orðið til þess að það dróst, m.a. kórónan á okkur öllum og margt annað. En klukkan 11 í morgun var skjöldurinn afhjúpaður.

Fornleifur er, eins og allir vita, mikill forsetadýrkandi og drottningarsinni, en aðeins þegar þær verur eru viti bornar og mannlegar. Hann skrifaði í leiðindum á Cóvid-tímum um skildi þá sem íslenskir forsetar höfðu fengið í kjölfar þess að á þá var hengdur danskur albínófíll (Sjá hér og einnig hér). Getgátur Fornleifs í fyrri greininni um skjöld Guðna reyndust því miður ekki réttar.

Fornleifur fyrstur með fréttirnar

Fornleifur er oft fyrstur með fréttirnar og sendi í dag ljósmyndara sinn út í kúamykjusveit á Sjálanditil að reyna að ná mynd af Guðna Forseta og skildinum hans. Ljósmyndadeild Fornleifssafns hefur ráðið mjög góðan ljósmyndara, sem líka er ökufantur. Mjög seinn á ferðinni skaust á Skódanum sínum til Friðriksborgarhallar til að ná forsetanum og öðrum fyrirmönnum á filmu.

Haukfrán augu forsetans sáu ljósmyndaragarminn á Fornleifi (myndin efst sýnir akkúrat , þegar Guðni fékk pata af ljósmyndaragarminum). Forsetinn gekk beint til ljósmyndarans og heilsaði á hann með handabandi sterklegu, og lét þau orð falla að hann læsi nú oft Fornleif, en væri ekki endilega alltaf sammála honum. Ljósmyndarinn varð hálf munnlama við þann dóm, og vegna skyndilegrar snobblömunar vildi hann hafa sagt að Fornleifur væri nú ekki heldur alltaf sammála því sem hann skrifaði sjálfur - en hefði það samt allt sem réttast.

Fornleifur er heldur ekki alltaf sammála því sem forsetinn segir, t.d. nú síðast í lakkríssúkkulaðimálinu - svo það kemur út á eitt hvað forsetanum sýnist.

Ljósmyndagarmurinn er nú að koma út úr myrkraherberginu með ferskar myndir af Guðna og skildinum hans í höllinni.

Á skildinum stendur, DOM: GUÐNI TH. JÓHANNESSON PRAESES REIPUBL: ISLANDIE DIE XXIV JAN: AN: MMXVII eða Herra Guðni Th. Jóhannesson, forseti lýðveldisins Íslands. Þann 24. janúar árið 2017.

Á borða yfir opinni bók, sem rauður Þórshamar svífur yfir stendur:

TIBI IPSI ESTO FIDELIS 

sem eru að líkindum Sókratísk ummæli, og má þýða yfir á íslensku á þennan hátt: Vertu sjálfum þér trúr (eða samkvæmur), sem er líka ágæt íslensk lífsregla.

Þórshamarinn yfir bókinni er svo líklega tilvísun í sagnfræðina eða Thorlacius nafnið. Að hamarinn er rauður, skal látið ótúlkað hér á Moggabloggi.

Á neðra helmingi skjaldarins er silfrað haf, væntanlega Atlantsálarnir og í því birtist kanadíska Hlynslaufið rauða, og vísar það vafalaust til Alizu konu Guðna, sem hann sótti sér og þjóðinni, til heilla yfir álana.

Í hinu silfraða hafi dóla líka 5 lítil akkeri og þar eru ugglaust komin börn þeirra hjóna, sem eru fimm að tölu. Svartgljáandi bakgrunnurinn er kannski íslenski lakkrísinn sem Guðna er svo hugleikinn að hann berst með kjafti og klóm fyrir rétti hans á alþjóðavettvangi.

Fornleifur gefur skildinum ágætis einkunn, því hér kemur loks forseti, sem kemur því að, að forsetafrúin (eða maðurinn) gegnir einnig mikilvægu hlutverki fyrir embættið: Ber er á baki kvenlaus karl. Þannig á það að vera.

Annað, sem fréttnæmt mætti þykja, er, að íslenski sendiherran kom allt, allt, alltof seint í skjaldarafhjúpunina í Friðriksborgarhöll. Ég sem hélt að hún ætti hraðskreiðan sportbíl.

... og að einhver afgangur varð af smákökum, snittum og kampavíninu. Hér sjást orðumeistarar eða starfsmenn Þjóðsögusafnsins í Friðriksborgarhöll bera fat af kökum og smá kampavínssull frá höllinni. Verði þeim líka að góðu.

The Greatest of all Icelandic Inventions - The Chocolate coated Licorice

Monday, 12 September 2022, the President of the Republic of Iceland will have his very own crest, accompanying the Danish order of the Elephant, revealed at the Chapel of the Palace of Frederiksborg, North of Copenhagen.

The Icelandic President, the honourable Dr. Jóhannesson gets his specially personalized crest as a part of the honour bestowed upon him in 2017, when Danish Queen Margrethe II pinned the Order of the Elephant, the highest of all orders in the Kingdom of Denmark, to the president´s chest.

Everyone, who receives the Order of the Danish Albino Elephant, also receives a personalized crest - among them all heads of states in the Nordic countries, kings, queens and presidents alike. The white Jumbo is simply the Top-Bling of Denmark.

The Elephant-bling on the chest of a man, who once in a while behaves like a clumsy giant elephant in a glass-shop, is actually quite appropriate. Recently, President Guðni Th. Jóhannesson, brought perpetual shame upon the Icelanders, when he praised the presidents and foreign minister from three Baltic States, Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania, when they were on a state visit in Iceland. The governments of these three states have since 1991 been systematically white-washing the numerous local murderers of Jews during WWII, who nowadays are highly praised as freedom-fighters in these new European Union republics. The great-grandfather of the present foreign minsiter of Lithuania was a member of a Nazi collaborator government in 1941, and supervised ghettos and the "Jewish sollution" in Lithuania.

Few weeks later the Icelandic president appeared is in the role of the protector and spokesperson of all sorts of Chocolate-coated licorice, which the President is convinced is a 100% Icelandic invention, possibly predating the voyages of Columbus to the Americas.

Icelandic President: "Eat your chocolate pork, Danes"!

Yes, you read me right, the president of Iceland has become the supreme judge of the world´s licorice production, but mainly the bland part of it which is covered in bad chocolate. In a rather presumptuous statement, which does not befit a president of any nation - unless his name is Trump,  Dr. Jóhannesson said that the Danes ought:

Rather cover pork roast and their

assorted smorgasbord-bread in chocolate

as he proclaimed that the Danes had stolen the idea of the chocolate-covered licorice from the poor Icelandic island-nation on he edge of the frozen seas of the North.

This emotional statement came after a licorice maker of dubious aristocratic pedigree in Denmark had, in a moment of mad hype, claimed, that he had invented the great art of covering licorice in chocolate. But now this licorice-wunderkind of Denmark, Johan Sebastian Bülow, has admitted that he was fantasizing just tiny little licorice bit. To make a mends, the Danish licorice-Wonka has invited the President of Iceland to his licorice/chocolate factory to reach a reconciliation with the Icelandic nation and its leader.

But the fact of the matter is that the protector of the Icelandic licorice as well as Bülow the licorice producer are both way off in their selfish fantasies.

As a spoiled kid, the editor in chief of Blog-Fornleifur was pacified with licorice covered in chocolate and also licorice jelly covered in chocolate. These treats were given to him in the land of some of his ancestors, the Netherlands. The boy-editor dubbed this candy "chocolate poops" and was reprimanded for that, like almost anything else he did or said. I liked candied ginger covered in chocolate much better, as well as anise jelly with a thin chocolate shell made of high quality 50% chocolate made from Surinamese cocoa - that was simply the best.

Food product nationalism

Taking credit for all kinds of edible goodies has for ages been a part of the national pride, and even an indescribable and silly obsession, like in the case of the chocolate-licorice in Iceland.

The many century old controversy over the origin of the "French fries" is still not resolved. The Flemings in Belgium still think their is the honour, but the Spaniards probably beat them, because they brought the potato to the Netherlands, when they controlled the region. In the process of frying the Dutch the also fried potatoes.

The Greeks fought hard for sole rights to the  Feta cheese. That cheese is most likely a direct influence from Turkey (the Ottoman Empire), which ruled Greece for a long time, but the word Feta itself is etymologically related to the word Fita (fat) in Icelandic. Maybe the Icelanders should also demand their rights, now that they have given the Icelandic soft-cheese product, Skyr, to the world for free on a silver platter. Icelandic Skyr has become a Reg. trade. mark in Germany and Denmark and Iceland does not benefit at all after keeping the 1100 year recipe intact and safe so many year.

The Scots might as well start chocolate coating Haggis, the same way they deep fry Mars bars - They believe that a spirit they call Whisky is Gaelic, down  to the last drop. Well, wrong again. The word has Norse roots and is related to the Danish Væske (liquid), which is is also rooted in the verb vaska (to wash) in Icelandic.

The good old Ketchup is neither English nor American, because the words Katchup/Ketchap were borrowed from Indonesia by the Dutch, who brought the Indonesian word for sauce to the US.

The French canapé appetizers are not French at all, but primarily Russian in origin... People still argue over mayonnaise, which many nations consider to be the part of their national soul. Icelanders thought for a long while that a certain Gunnar, who was the Icelandic codfather of a great tasting coronal artery lubricant, could be the inventor.  Gunnar´s Mayo was actually and only a very good Icelandic local variation of mayo. The French confiscated the mayo for a while, and introduced a slow-Mayo, but the substance was  actually created long before the Roman Empire. On the other hand, the Russians or the Jews introduced it to the French. In the Soviet era, mayonnaise was the highlight of Russian food culture from Leningrad all the way to Vladivostok. Employees of the Soviet embassy in Copenhagen were seen sneaking into Copenhagen Irma stores, buying a tube of mayo, which they pressed directly into their mouths on top of a layer of caviar then to wash it down with a half bottle of vodka while sitting on a bench in the park with Danish spies dressed like hobos and hoodlums.

The real origin of mixing Chocolate with licorice

A former "Dutch" company, VENCO [pronounced FENCO] established in the 19th century, which now has been taken over by the Swedish Cloetta group - which actually was originally a "Danish" company founded by two Italian-speaking brothers from Switzerland in 1862 - has launched a series of 10 types of of licorice-filled chocolate balls, similar to those produced by Bülow ---- at a much lower and even more affordable price than the balls of the "inventor" Johan Bülow, who started his production when he had just started walking in 2007. The licorice droppings of Bülow Licorice Inc. are so pricy, that you might suspect that Saint Zelenskij got to test-lick all the chocolate balls before they were packaged. Well, somehow crap gets contagious.

Now it seems to me, that VENCO/CLOETTA most probably needs to get a special permission from the All Sorts Licorice-President of Iceland, where one of the main national prides is the countries 4th grade licorice that has been dipped into bad chocolate? In the Licorice Republic of Iceland One must seriously wonder if there is something very wrong when a president, when he is not praising statesmen from countries who falsify their history in order to justify hatred of minorities (Jews, Russian, Roma and the Gay community) throws himself into trivial disputes over licorice coated chocolate.

The editorial board of Fornleifur suspects that President Jóhannesson will have to swallow the hard uncoated fact that the chocolate-coated licorice is not a genuine Icelandic invention. Next Christmas, all the Smoked lamb roast at he Presidential residence at Bessastaðir will be covered in chocolate and the caramelized potatoes (which are heavenly and neither Icelandic, Danish nor French) will smothered in a thick sauce of South American chocolate sprinkled with licorice shavings.

The fact of the matter is that Icelanders have never invented anything except a lot of nonsense.

Latest news out of Copenhagen

which Fornleifur gets from a rather unreliable sources deep within the the Danish Court), states that the the signature legend on elephant shield of President of Iceland, will read

Omnia Islandica est sicut liquiritiae

texit scelerisque

which translates into the King´s English as: Everything Icelandic is like chocolate-covered licorice. The Crest bears the image of a brown and black piglet in a brown muddy puddle.

Good luck to you dear President Guðni. Rattle your Jumbo-bling and give our greetings to the Danish Royalty. Promise me to roll a seriously good licorice joint with Queen Margrethe II before she leaves for Queen Elizabeth´s funeral.

By the way, one of the pieces of the Black Magic chocolate box originally produced by Rowntree´s in York (swallowed by Nestlé), which used to be produced by the Appointment of HM Queen Elizabeth, was a lump of slightly licorice flavoured fondant or dark caramel, covered with thick dark Chocolate. It was called Dreamy Fudge or something like that, if my memory serves me right.